MR. POLARIS POPPED FOR WOBBLING WITHOUT A LICENSE!

: Greetings, Guardians of Moral Fiber!

: It's a sad day for enemies of superstar turpitude!

: It seems as though our formerly rock-solid celestial pal, Mr. : Polaris, (AKA the North Star)is slipping one too many shots : of Schnapps into his hot Cocoa.

: Back in December I busted our boozy buddy for wobbling across : the evening firmament without a license. For a brief period : thereafter, it seemed as though he had successfully kicked : the erratic error of his formerly evil ways and had whipped : the wobble!

: But sadly, that was then and this is now...the intoxicating : desire to dip a sip of zip from out of the little dipper : has apparently nipped his former steadfast resolve.

: And so...Last night, once again, my trusty laser pointer : zeroed in on empty space for most of the evening!

: Polaris bailed out of position, moving from north west to : north east by nearly a degree and a half over the course of : 5 hours. At 1:30 AM, I re-calibrated the laser and less : than an hour later Polaris was once again AWOL!

: Calls to the local pub, (where all the stars hang out) were : not returned.
: At that point, clouds moved in and the evening was consigned : to the hooky history books.

: If the overcast takes a hike this evening, I plan to be out : there once again with my laser gun!
: And....This time I have a diabolical plan in place!
: Before it gets too dark I'll put up a few "Road Work : Ahead" signs!

: You see... There is a method to my madness!....Fines are : double in a work zone!
: And ... you can bet your lucky stars that this time I'll write : our busted booze hound a DUI ticket as long as your arm.

: Gee...What a great way to make a fast buck, eh? Learn from the : best, I always say...And besides...

: That's how they pay all the bills in my county!
: -CliffMickelson